Candidates for
The Patron Saint of Solicitors
(Without Prejudice)
This poem, referred to hereafter as "The Document", shall supersede any preceding document and is subject to alteration at the discretion of the named Author only, under the terms and conditions set out in the 1884 by-laws relating to Poems, Novels and Pornographic Etchings (a copy of which
may be obtained from your local Town Hall).
I solemnly swear that I hereby decree,
By the powers at hand, which are vested in me,
That electing a Patron of substantial wealth,
Be determined by law, with no bearing on health.
Each member may vote by proxy, if wished,
And selection be made from the candidates list,
Predilection is voiced for a personal friend,
At a lobbying session you may wish to attend.
In concluding the vote, I shall post to the Queen,
By the first day of April, Two thousand, sixteen,
A formal edict, or decree absolute,
Appointing the man with the shiniest suit.
You may then, if you wish, make a formal complaint,
Stating objections to the elected new Saint,
Then, pending enquiries, a cash sum may be paid,
And for two thousand pounds, then a recount be made.
Though for this paltry sum, there are limits achieved,
In comparison to what Jeffrey Archer received.
So when making selection, confirm with your seal,
And remember, it takes several years to appeal!
This poem, referred to hereafter as "The Document", shall supersede any preceding document and is subject to alteration at the discretion of the named Author only, under the terms and conditions set out in the 1884 by-laws relating to Poems, Novels and Pornographic Etchings (a copy of which
may be obtained from your local Town Hall).
I solemnly swear that I hereby decree,
By the powers at hand, which are vested in me,
That electing a Patron of substantial wealth,
Be determined by law, with no bearing on health.
Each member may vote by proxy, if wished,
And selection be made from the candidates list,
Predilection is voiced for a personal friend,
At a lobbying session you may wish to attend.
In concluding the vote, I shall post to the Queen,
By the first day of April, Two thousand, sixteen,
A formal edict, or decree absolute,
Appointing the man with the shiniest suit.
You may then, if you wish, make a formal complaint,
Stating objections to the elected new Saint,
Then, pending enquiries, a cash sum may be paid,
And for two thousand pounds, then a recount be made.
Though for this paltry sum, there are limits achieved,
In comparison to what Jeffrey Archer received.
So when making selection, confirm with your seal,
And remember, it takes several years to appeal!
