THE LITERARY WORLD OF THOMAS DADE
  • Home
  • Poetry & Prose
    • New Year’s Eve
    • Voices
    • Calypso
    • The Forlorn Stakes
    • Mad House
    • Arthur
    • Intesnsive Care
    • Poppy (in memoriam)
    • The Shoot
    • Glassy-eyed bitch!
    • What Emma Said
    • Religious Beliefs
    • Shrimp Breakfast
    • God's Gift
    • Courtroom Drama
    • Summer Days
    • My Dear Old Mum
    • Night of the Predator
    • Asa Wilde (84 years young)
    • Christmas Values
    • Remembrance Day
    • The Hills of Home
    • Gutter Currency
    • Proms
    • Tot
    • Zoo
  • Humorous
    • The Job Centre Blues
    • The Patron Saint of Solicitors
    • Sad Tale of the Kimble Frish
    • The Greatest Show On Earth
    • Farmyard Friends
    • Cookin' Up The Amazon
    • The Undertaker's Anthem
    • Pink, Punk, Fizz!
    • The Tradesman
    • When Adolf came o’er t' Yorkshire - (Dialect)
  • Short Stories
    • A Life, Retrospective
    • Room 126
    • A Bizarre Love Story
    • An Evening With Bonnie
    • Joyce's Story
    • Different Perspectives - Care Homes
  • Dilemmas
  • Contact
  • Granny D - Agony Aunt
    • Steroids in Sport – A Vicious Cycle
    • Autagonistophilia – Emma, Bruce and Demi too!
    • Legal Advice for Oscar Pistorius
    • Drug Abuse - Anyone for Charlie?
    • Hybristophilia
    • Chris Huhne from HMP Wandsworth
    • POPE Thanks Granny D
    • Necrophilia - Fifty Shades of Grey
    • Voyeurism
    • Alcohol Abuse - Binge Drinking
    • Striae - Stretch Marks
    • Autassassinophilia
    • Richard Madeley On Skype
    • Savile, Glitter & Starr?
    • Homosexuality
    • Phobias
    • Impotence - Erectile Dysfunction
    • Testicular Cancer
    • Cross-dressing – Does size matter?
    • Letter to Auntie Kath
    • Granny D's WaterAid Appeal
    • Swingers and Swappers
    • Letter from Her Majesty
    • Neophobia
    • Telephone Scatologia
    • FGM
    • Ataxophobia
  • Restaurant Reviews
    • Generous Pioneer, Ilkley
    • Fazenda, Leeds
    • Amici Ristorante, Keighley
    • Balti House, Keighley
    • The Toby Carvery, Keighley
    • Banny's Fish & Chip Restaurant, Colne
    • Kingfisher Restaurant, Cross Hills
    • Ivy Palace Cantonese, Colne
    • Mother Hubbards, Scarborough
    • Princess Cafe, Scarborough
    • Welcome Inne, Scarborough
    • Leeds Fisheries, Scarborough
  • Feature Length Screenplays
    • You're Not Singing, Eddie Moore - Psychological Thriller
    • the summer of alex white - Romantic Comedy
    • The Grey Room - Psychological Thriller
    • That's Show Business! Comedy
    • The Eartly World of Francis Wick - Comedy
    • On The Slyde - Comedy
  • Six-part Screenplays
    • You're Not Singing, Eddie Moore - Comedy
    • Mardy & Son - Dark Comedy
    • STARS - Comedy
    • Amazing Grace - Comedy
  • Radio Scripts
    • Belvedere Trent - The Circles of Suburbia - Comedy
  • Credits
    • Good for the gander

The Job Centre Blues

(Nice work... If you can get it!)

Twelve trainee baker vacancies,
To raise much kneaded bread.

Eleven Chef de parties,
To keep our clients fed.

Ten Technicians wanted,
NVQ, or same,

Nine Administrators,
By major, leading name.

Eight Computer Salesmen,
To service Apple Macs.

Seven Civil Engineers,
Apply by phone or fax.

Six nimble-fingered packers,
For bright and busy work.

Five enterprising Engineers,
Apply to Captain Kirk.

Four Forensic Scientists,
With ambition and with drive,

Three Secretaries (Temp or Perm),
To work from nine till five.

Two top-class closers (Urgent),
For double-glazing firm,

One Minister for Employment,
May only be short term.

*Please sign every alternate Wednesday between 12.30 and 1 o’clock.  Failure to do so
may result in your benefit being delayed.  Next…
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