The Earthly World of Francis Wick
Francis Wick’s main focus in life is his beloved allotment, and that’s partly the reason why his wife left him ten years ago. However, when Kevin (Pit-Bull) Pitman acquires the adjoining allotment, and contrives several events to drive out Francis in order to accommodate a pigeon hut, the intimidation brings out the worst in the, normally placid, gardener.
In the opening scene, Francis finds several bones buried in his potato patch. Despite the nature of the find, the Police refuse to take him seriously due to the fact that this is the third time in twelve months he has made a similar discovery.
Nevertheless, it isn’t long before the Police begin to develop a link between the bones and Francis’ estranged wife, Joan – until, that is, two boys, who turn out to be Kevin Pitman’s twin sons, are reported to have stolen a skeleton from the Uppenshaw Natural Museum – unbeknown to the Police, a ruse instigated by their father in order to create problems for Francis with the Council.
Later, in scene 5, John Hardcastle discovers a snake in his shed, and Francis takes it upon himself to remove it, though it isn’t long before Francis realises the danger he is in. Again, the Police are required to attend but, by now, are seeing Francis as more of a nuisance than anything else.
Throughout the screenplay, Pitman’s twins continually provoke Francis by calling him names and plaguing him with skits – it’s all part of Pitman’s master plan.
Scene 13, and the twins are at it again, this time stealing rhubarb from Francis’s allotment - but each time he tries to foil them, he inevitably meets with disaster.
Although Francis manages to muddle through all of these trials and tribulations in his own naive way, Pitman decides to stake all on one final roll of the dice. At the time Francis’ wife disappeared ten years ago, no one thought much of it, until Pitman discovers a white-painted stone at the bottom of Wick’s allotment with his wife’s initial painted on in black. Convinced that Wick has murdered his wife and buried her there, he sees it as the perfect opportunity to get rid of Wick once and for all.
Once again, the Police are called to investigate. The question is, is Francis’ wife really buried beneath the white stone, or is it yet another waste of Police time?
Despite being preoccupied with Pitman’s devious plans, Francis attempts to rekindle his love life with an old acquaintance called Maureen Partridge who, being married to a layabout, has problems of her own.
Then the unthinkable happens; Francis’ estranged wife turns up. Although he is optimistic about reconciliation, she soon lets slip her plans to divorce him and marry someone else - and, in so doing, claim her rightful half to all he owns – including the allotment.
She also discloses her secret affair with Maureen’s husband, Billy Partridge, all of which proves too much for Francis. Striking her on the back of the head as she is about to leave, he kills her and buries her body in the hole left by the Police.
Maureen also finds about her husband Billy’s affair with Francis’ wife, and her change of attitude regarding the sanctity of her wedding vows, presents Francis with an unsuspected offer of sex – but, despite the bravado displayed in earlier scenes, can Francis go through with it, particularly as his wife actually ‘is’ now buried at the bottom of the garden.
In the opening scene, Francis finds several bones buried in his potato patch. Despite the nature of the find, the Police refuse to take him seriously due to the fact that this is the third time in twelve months he has made a similar discovery.
Nevertheless, it isn’t long before the Police begin to develop a link between the bones and Francis’ estranged wife, Joan – until, that is, two boys, who turn out to be Kevin Pitman’s twin sons, are reported to have stolen a skeleton from the Uppenshaw Natural Museum – unbeknown to the Police, a ruse instigated by their father in order to create problems for Francis with the Council.
Later, in scene 5, John Hardcastle discovers a snake in his shed, and Francis takes it upon himself to remove it, though it isn’t long before Francis realises the danger he is in. Again, the Police are required to attend but, by now, are seeing Francis as more of a nuisance than anything else.
Throughout the screenplay, Pitman’s twins continually provoke Francis by calling him names and plaguing him with skits – it’s all part of Pitman’s master plan.
Scene 13, and the twins are at it again, this time stealing rhubarb from Francis’s allotment - but each time he tries to foil them, he inevitably meets with disaster.
Although Francis manages to muddle through all of these trials and tribulations in his own naive way, Pitman decides to stake all on one final roll of the dice. At the time Francis’ wife disappeared ten years ago, no one thought much of it, until Pitman discovers a white-painted stone at the bottom of Wick’s allotment with his wife’s initial painted on in black. Convinced that Wick has murdered his wife and buried her there, he sees it as the perfect opportunity to get rid of Wick once and for all.
Once again, the Police are called to investigate. The question is, is Francis’ wife really buried beneath the white stone, or is it yet another waste of Police time?
Despite being preoccupied with Pitman’s devious plans, Francis attempts to rekindle his love life with an old acquaintance called Maureen Partridge who, being married to a layabout, has problems of her own.
Then the unthinkable happens; Francis’ estranged wife turns up. Although he is optimistic about reconciliation, she soon lets slip her plans to divorce him and marry someone else - and, in so doing, claim her rightful half to all he owns – including the allotment.
She also discloses her secret affair with Maureen’s husband, Billy Partridge, all of which proves too much for Francis. Striking her on the back of the head as she is about to leave, he kills her and buries her body in the hole left by the Police.
Maureen also finds about her husband Billy’s affair with Francis’ wife, and her change of attitude regarding the sanctity of her wedding vows, presents Francis with an unsuspected offer of sex – but, despite the bravado displayed in earlier scenes, can Francis go through with it, particularly as his wife actually ‘is’ now buried at the bottom of the garden.
