Homosexuality - Coming out of the closet

Dear Granny D

Thank you so much for replying to my letter. It’s a great relief to know that there is someone out there who is willing to offer their support and to guide me through this very difficult time. For the purposes of this email, I will call myself ‘X’ as I would prefer to remain anonymous due to the homophobic attitudes of those living in my small community. I am in my early 20’s and have been ‘in the closet’ now since I realised I had a fondness for naked guys around two or three years ago. My father left home on my 18th birthday and I still live with my mum in the same house where we once all lived as a family. It broke my mum’s heart when dad left us and I guess I’ve never really forgiven him for that. I rarely see him these days, but that’s another story. My dilemma is, I don’t know whether to tell my mum that I’m gay before she finds out some other way. Last year, she suffered from severe depression, which is why I haven’t told her sooner. I would hate to do something rash that might tip her over the edge, which is why I contacted you, Granny D. What should I do?

Dear Adwar

Firstly, your gayness is related to the love that you had for your father, it’s as simple as that. You are obviously trying to fill the void that he left in your life with some alternative masculine attention.  Just remember, the next time you are ball-milking, rimming, or squeezing your little pink pal into your partner’s pickled walnut, you are merely filling a hole that your father left. It’s perfectly natural, so don’t worry. As for telling your mum, there’s no need to worry on that score as she already knows. I phoned her earlier today and, let’s just say we had a bit of a tête à tête.  Yes, she was taken aback at first but, after confiding in Granny D, I learned that she too had a same sex experience with her sister-in-law; you’ll know her better as Auntie Pat. So you mustn’t worry, Adwar, by the time you get home tonight, I can guarantee that there’ll be a quiche waiting for you in the fridge. I assume your mother was about to bake as I could hear rummaging about in the cutlery drawer, presumably looking for a knife to trim the pastry with. By the way, say hello to your partner Bryn for me and, indeed, all the residents of Llangollen.

All the best
Granny D