Believe it or not, my intention wasn’t to emulate the celebs on Children In Need, who always seem quite happy to showcase their compassionate sides by crouching down next to tiny, malnourished African children covered in bluebottles, but rather to take advantage of a ‘HOT DEAL’ displayed in the window of a local Travel Agent. Alright, so the choice wasn’t extensive. It was either the African trip or two weeks in Mogadishu staying at a safe-house near Bakaara Market with a family of Al-Shabab insurgents. Mind you, at £80 for 10 nights, including flights and transfers, I was a tad tempted… for all of a nanosecond, that is! So, having only once before seen a lion in its natural habitat (Billy Smart’s Circus), I naturally plumped for the African adventure. Besides, it also gave me the opportunity to wear my authentic, Khaki safari shorts and ‘Lenny Henry in Africa’ T-shirt; authentic in that they were both purchased from an Oxfam shop during my rebellious Uni days.
A Maasai family welcome Granny D
After tea and crumpets in Nairobi, the guide and I headed along the Nairobi-Namanga road, passing through Kijiado on our way towards Mt. Kilimanjaro. By the time we had reached the Wakuafi wilderness, centered on the area between Kilimanjaro, Usambara, and Teita, we were fortunate to stumble upon a semi-nomadic Maasai family who were kind enough to offer us food and shelter for the night. For some reason, I half expected to see them all sat around a campfire airing their genitalia whilst knocking out those wooden warrior statues for the export market, but it wasn’t like that at all. I suppose, in a way, it was sort of a mixture of happiness and sadness. My initial thoughts were that the women looked weary, whilst the men looked like a gathering of Geordie squatters, without the overpowering smell of urine, of course. As for the sprogs, they were so emaciated that the poor mites struggled to carry my luggage from the Jeep to my place of rest. It was heartbreaking to watch, it really was. Yet it just goes to show how resilient the human spirit is when faced with adversity; those two little five-year-olds managed to drag the suitcases inside that hut in spite of my last minute decision to bring along the Nicky Clarke Hair Care set and foot bath. As it turned out, there wasn’t a single socket to be seen, so I may as well have left the electricals behind; how’s that for irony?
As for the happy bit, they had lots of beads, materials and dyes, all in vibrant colours. It was a craft maker’s dream. Not only that, but their lives seemed so rich and uncomplicated. Without any obvious need to handle money, livestock and jewellery being the main commodities, they were free to do as they pleased whilst others seem to sweat and fret around them; a bit like our Royalty when you come to think about it.
We settled down for the night in an Inkajijik, which is like a small loaf-shaped dwelling made of mud, sticks, grass, cow dung and cow's urine. Although I was so thankful for the shelter that it offered, in all honesty, it wasn’t much better than a Travel Lodge. In fact, the first dump I had was behind a bale of hay; how was I to know it was their front room sofa? With all those spears lying around, it all made for a tense atmosphere and a somewhat sleepless night.
As for the happy bit, they had lots of beads, materials and dyes, all in vibrant colours. It was a craft maker’s dream. Not only that, but their lives seemed so rich and uncomplicated. Without any obvious need to handle money, livestock and jewellery being the main commodities, they were free to do as they pleased whilst others seem to sweat and fret around them; a bit like our Royalty when you come to think about it.
We settled down for the night in an Inkajijik, which is like a small loaf-shaped dwelling made of mud, sticks, grass, cow dung and cow's urine. Although I was so thankful for the shelter that it offered, in all honesty, it wasn’t much better than a Travel Lodge. In fact, the first dump I had was behind a bale of hay; how was I to know it was their front room sofa? With all those spears lying around, it all made for a tense atmosphere and a somewhat sleepless night.
Not as Purdy as she once was - the maasai way of life got to Joanna
I recall looking in a shard of broken mirror the next morning and fingering my matted hair. Just seeing the reflection of my weathered face and sweat-stained vest, it was quite a disturbing sight to behold. I remember thinking, “I bet this is what Joanna Lumley must have felt like.” In fact, other than for a change of clothes, the poor woman probably still does.
The whole experience was so moving that I decided there and then that I would personally fund a rainwater collection system from my own pocket. If I’m being honest, I thought it would be a one-off payment of £2 but it turns out it’s £2 a month. Still, what price a human life, eh? And anyway, it’s not legally binding so I can always cancel the direct debit after a couple of months if New Look persists in hounding me for a store card repayment.
So here’s the deal… Please, please, please be as generous as Granny D and click on the PLEASE DONATE BUTTON below. It will take you directly to the Water Aid website where you can make a donation of your choosing. Even just a measly £2… it wouldn’t even be enough to buy a vodders and coke in most places and you’ll feel much better for it!
Cheers, me dears
Granny D
The whole experience was so moving that I decided there and then that I would personally fund a rainwater collection system from my own pocket. If I’m being honest, I thought it would be a one-off payment of £2 but it turns out it’s £2 a month. Still, what price a human life, eh? And anyway, it’s not legally binding so I can always cancel the direct debit after a couple of months if New Look persists in hounding me for a store card repayment.
So here’s the deal… Please, please, please be as generous as Granny D and click on the PLEASE DONATE BUTTON below. It will take you directly to the Water Aid website where you can make a donation of your choosing. Even just a measly £2… it wouldn’t even be enough to buy a vodders and coke in most places and you’ll feel much better for it!
Cheers, me dears
Granny D
